i think i love you too

Before I begin my planned day of productivity, I want to spill my guts a bit.

Yesterday was magical, as is any day involving a psychedelic adventure with good friends. I saw things I didn't ask to see, and I felt things 400 miles away.

My heart was cracked open, bleeding all over me and spilling onto the grass. It almost made me cry to think of how I feel about Karina. I feel so vulnerable. I trust her. I've never trusted anyone I was in a relationship with before because I've never trusted a guy before. It's beautiful.

I see Ashley pulling away and Jess trying to hold on. It's sad. I didn't ask to see it so clearly.

Ashley and I connected a lot yesterday mostly b/c we were the only ones shrooming. We talked initmately, we cuddled, we laughed. It's nice to have an excuse to break down our walls and be able to connect without all the bullshit. And it's all so different now, compared to the first time we shroomed togther.

I'm not worried about possibly living with them. The worst that could happen is they break up and move out. I want that room. I need to talk to Cesar. Ughhhh, my own room to do whatever I want in. Sleep undisturbed, masturbate, fuck, whatever. Sounds amazing.

OH and Slack Lining is my new favorite thing. Who knew tight rope walking could be so thrilling and spiritual? I fucking loved it.

k bye

Tati's birthday is today, happy birthday friend.