"Hey kiddo, haven't talked to you in a few months... hope everything is good... call me back if you get a chance, if you want." I don't want. I'm so tired of pretending. It's exhausting, and I would really like to, I don' know, actually express how I feel toward him for once? I want to tell him I have so much fucking anger that if I allow myself to think about it, the anger will manifest into river coming out of my eyes and I will start drowning. I don't have time for THAT. So instead, I'll say that everything is fine... doing well in school... work is good...
Maybe someday I'll refuse to keep the rouge going, but not today. I just hope he doesn't say 'I love you' at the end of the conversation... I might vomit.
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