a droopy mind for a droopy morning

I'm sitting here trying to start my paper for Patti's class, but of course I'm distracted and mentally all over the place. I feel like fireworks are going off in my head... some thoughts brighter than others, some kind of painful to look at, some thrilling and amazing. The first week we moved up here, we went to a 4th of July party in Noe Valley and throughout the night, I'd see fireworks and I loved that they weren't the fucking Disneyland fireworks I could see from my bedroom window at my parent's house every night at 9:35 pm in shapes of hearts and cubes and stars and mickey mouse ears. They were illegal fireworks probably purchased somewhere in China town, and they were just what I needed at that particular moment in time. They were exactly what I needed, it was almost spiritual, which is strange considering I'm talking about fireworks I know, but that's the only word to describe it really. It was a beautiful, quiet moment I had all to myself that I tucked inside my pocket and kept forever.

But now, Bailey, right now. How did my mind go there? How am I going to write this paper when my mind keeps wandering to and fro, lollygagging about in a continuous daydreaming state of bright colors and even brighter emotions? Stop thinking about fireworks, stop thinking about laundry, stop thinking about Bjork, stop thinking about how beautiful it is outside and how I wish Karina and I were at the beach falling asleep under a marvelous sun-drenched 60s flower print cotton sheet, our warm bodies entangled in the simplest of ways... stop thinking and write your goddamn paper.